Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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