i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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