Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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