We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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