dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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