Please, let me fuck your mom
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
