what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
