Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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