i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
