i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
