she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up under a house in Key West
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
