i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
