Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
When did we convert life to cartoon?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
