you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
