My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
