This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
