it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
