The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
