To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
