I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
