So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
