is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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