Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
