Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
