Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
