Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
