drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
