we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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