Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
