i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Even my vagina gasped.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
