You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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