K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
