the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
