I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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