haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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