Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
