I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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