"it" just moved
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
