so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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