god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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