Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize