everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
