Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
