Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize