..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
