The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
