I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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