I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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