How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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