And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
