our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I stole a fireplace last night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
