true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
