My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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