He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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