is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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