This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
