I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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