I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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