Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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